Your Happiness Depends on You
When asked about how does he keeps his wife happy, Actor Will Smith has replied "Her Happiness is not my responsibility. She should be happy, and I should be happy individually. Then we come together and share our happiness. Giving someone else the responsibility to make you happy when you cannot do it is selfish."
I've heard a lot of people asking around "How can I be happy by staying single and alone?" and I found it so funny. Irrespective of my relationship status, I never found it important for anyone to be around me to make me happy. I have my own space to be happy. However, I had no words to explain to them the same thing. Recently I watched a video featuring famous monk and my favorite speaker, Jay Shetty. I then had my words constructed on how to explain people about being happy.
Everywhere you go you hear a bunch of people saying that they'll go mad without their Lover. You also hear them say that its their Lovers who keep them Happy and Healthy. Sometimes you see people always being dependent on someone else to keep themselves mentally stable. Honestly, these are all good if you have someone like-minded in your life. But if you're with someone with a different mindset, it can turn bad and you cannot blame them for that.
Your happiness and your good health are your own responsibility. It’s unfair to expect someone to make you happy and depend on them for everything. It’s unfair to make someone your whole world. When we start to depend on someone else for our own happiness, we tend to put ourselves in a situation wherein we don't grow or make our own responsibility. Bottom line is, we outsource our own well-being.
The fact remains, we cannot guarantee that the person on whom we are so dependent is forever going to be there to take care of our happiness. So that means if they leave us, we leave our own well-being as well. In fact, they'll leave us much quicker than they picked us up.
I'm not here spreading negativity about relationships or saying that its bad or asking you to stay alone forever. There's a long-term message LURKing in what I'm trying to convey. It’s always good to learn how to carry and take care of our own selves.
Usually, we feel good when we have friends and family around us. But on the other hand, we feel alone and upset when there’s no one around. We miss the opportunity of enjoying our own space and feel unhappy and depressed. It’s during that time we realize how we feel about ourselves.
What we never realize is the fact that, it's during that time that we are able to reflect on the goods and bads within us. It's during that time that we are able to correct the wrongs and accept the flaws within us. And it's important that the alone time we get, makes us feel happy. It’s important that our happiness starts with us first and then with someone else.
Happiness is all about how we feel about ourselves when we're left by ourselves. And if your happiness gets you to do weird things or makes you wear outlandish clothes or adapt a completely different lifestyle, do it. You define your happiness. You don't need to go by anyone else's patterns. The ones who truly love you will be happy for you.
You will meet people who will be there for you during the good times and the bad times. Do let them know how lucky you feel to have them around. Express your gratitude but don't depend on them wholeheartedly for everything. Or else you will end up pushing them away rather than bringing them closer. Somebody famous once said, "Don't be too much dependent on anyone in this world because even your shadow leaves you in the darkness."
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