Yes! I Experience Social Fatigue

I’ll start by narrating three instances to explain things clearly. First instance was a random outing at the mall with my family. We went to a mall and shopped for a while, then watched a movie and had dinner. We spent around five hours outside and then left for home. However, towards the last hour, I started to feel uneasiness building up inside me. I felt zoned out. I just wanted to run back home. I didn’t want to be in that crowded place or have random people around me anymore.

Second instance occurred at an Open Mic Event. To the ones unaware, I’m a part of a group that hosts Open Mics every month. We have performers coming in from everywhere to perform poetries, comedies, singing or any art form that can be performed on the stage. The event mostly is about three or four hour long. It mostly starts at about 02:00PM and ends by 06:00PM.

We hosted an open mic on the first Sunday of this month. However, things went a bit different this time and the event stretched till about 7:30PM which was not usual. So, after about 06:15PM, things started feeling different. I felt that feeling kind of hitting me on my face. It wasn’t a panic or anxiety attack, but it felt like one.

I started getting this urge to go back home as fast as I can. I didn’t want to look or hear the performers anymore. I didn’t want to smile or talk or even click pictures with anyone anymore. I felt zoned out, annoyed and restless. People tried to talk to me, but I couldn’t respond… Or maybe I didn’t want to respond. I hated being surrounded by so many people.

Third instance happened during a recent festival. We were at a relative’s place since morning. We had lunch together and then more people came in to meet and greet. Everything went well until I started getting the same feeling again. I started getting migraine. I felt as if my head would explode. I started sweating and feeling restless. All I could think about at that moment was to run home, which I did.

People think that I’m just being a dick. Some call me arrogant. Some say I have a rude behaviour. However, over the course of time, I realized that this had nothing to do with my behaviour. It was more like me being drained off the energy while socializing. I had less energy to be around people or at crowded places when compared to others.

This has been one of the reasons I deleted my account from Facebook. It looked less like a social media platform and more like a small room crowded with random known/unknown people. The size of the room remained the same and the crowd kept getting bigger with no air to breathe. It worked fine for me for a couple of years. After a while, I found it too overwhelming to be there. So I ended up deleting all my Social Media Accounts, making an exception to Instagram to promote my work. I can’t spend time surfing on it, else I’ll end up leaving that too.

I started looking up for information and came across the word “Social Energy” which is something everyone has. It varies from person to person depending on factors like physical and mental health. Probably, mine is a bit lower than normal, which is the reason why I end up experiencing “Social Fatigue”, which is another term I came across. It’s also called as “Introvert Burnout”. I’ll give you all a more detailed version of what exactly this is.

What is Social Fatigue?

This occurs when a person has socialized to a point of being unable to socialize anymore. Because we all have different personalities and habits, Social Fatigue can occur in a variety of ways. For me, it occurs when I’m in a crowded place for a long time. For others, it might occur in a different situation.

Another part of this is Social Media Fatigue (SMF) which refers to a social media user feeling burnt out after using social media for a long time. It is characterized by the tendency to withdraw from social media, a feeling of anxiety and being overwhelmed at the thought of interacting online. Social Fatigue has become more common after the COVID-19 pandemic. One of the reasons for that is the fact that we all have had less in-person or face-to-face contact with people. Because we've accustomed to an isolated existence, our socializing abilities are diminishing faster than normal.

Symptoms of Social Fatigue are physical exhaustion, irritability, stress, and headache. If you’ve been suffering with Social Fatigue from a longer time then you might be experiencing trouble sleeping, emotional volatility, unable to connect with others, challenge with attention and low energy. If left unchecked, it may lead to detachment, hopelessness and helplessness, depression, and anxiety. The strange part is the fact that most people are not even aware that they’re suffering from Social Fatigue. Here are some signs that might indicate that you are suffering from Social Fatigue.

• Easily Irate: Small things which never bothered you would start getting on your nerves. Even a minor annoyance created by anyone, or anything might irritate you to the core. You might even lash out on people.

• Physical Ailments: I remember suffering with body pain LURKing behind my Social Fatigue. I’ve discussed about this with others and headaches, upset stomach, knee pain, and muscle pain are some of the common physical issues people suffer.

• Not being Self: You might feel upset or angry the whole time. You might hear people complaining that you’re behaving differently. You might not look as happy or friendly as you always are.

• Feeling Lost: People face challenges making simple decisions like “What do I eat for lunch today?” I remember having a hard time deciding which song do I play on my playlist while I’m walking alone. Apart from that, people also find themselves lost in random thoughts and loosing track of time.

• Feeling Restless: One of the most common signs of Social Fatigue is feeling restless or having a strong urge to leave a social gathering and isolate yourself from people. People feel a lot panicked or apprehensive and are often concerned that they might react rudely. From a personal experience, I can say that the restlessness might also occur while using social media.

So, these are some common signs of Social . I’ve had a personal experience dealing with a lot of them. However, all of them can be treated or even avoided. Let’s discuss some pointers on how to avoid Social Fatigue.

• Self Awareness: You’re the best one to know how long you are capable of socializing and when is the best time to leave. Act upon it and plan accordingly. If you usually find yourself getting exhausted in the fourth or fifth hour, make sure you’re out before that.

• Practice Stopping-by: Instead of being at a social gathering for the entire duration, try to be there for a little while. If you have an event to attend, but only have the capacity to socialize for about two hours, it is okay to set that boundary. I’ve done that on a personal level. I found it way more convenient than staying at an event from the beginning.

• RSVP: It’s a French phrase Répondez s'il vous plaît, which means "Respond, if you please". You don’t need to be there at every social gathering or party that you’re called to. It is okay to recognize that not all invitations will bring joy or fulfilment. So, choose wisely and attend the ones which feel appealing or connecting for you.

If you feel you’re already Socially Fatigued, then here are some pointers that might help you recover. Also, I’ll share the things that I’ve been doing.

• Step Away: First thing that I do once I start feeling the effects of Social Fatigue is I move out of that place. You won’t be able to gain back your energy among the same people or in the same place where you’ve just now drained it. Even when it comes to social media, if you feel tired or overwhelmed, deactivate/delete your account. Neither Your life would end nor does the business go kaput. Find another way to stay in contact with people or clients who matter.

• Stay in your comfort Zone: Once you’ve left, go back to the place where you’re most comfortable, which is mostly your home. Get back home, be with your loved ones. They’ll make sure you’re being taken good care of.

• Self-Care: Start by taking a good rest. Have a good sleep. Do things that helps you heal and relieves your weariness. Now self-care activities could be anything from listening to music to working out to cooking, baking, dancing, meditation, and reading. Use your own method and take your own time to re-energize.

• Avoid Gatherings: Till the time you don’t feel good, avoid going to a social event or any crowded places or even social media platform that might trigger your social fatigue. Have your own alone time and let it be as healing as possible. Apart from that, you might have met people that exhaust you just by talking… Avoid them too. At least for a while.

• Get Professional Help: We all have experienced Social Fatigue at some points in our lives and have dealt with them in our own way. But sometimes, even choosing the best ways to heal doesn’t work for some people. That is when this part comes into the picture. Get professional physical or mental help that you need. There’s nothing wrong in getting help for your well-being.